…is a surprisingly complex, multi-step process.
We do it so often that it becomes routine and we don’t need to consciously think about how to make it happen. Until we do. Some days having a shower is too much, so I’m going to suggest some tiny little steps you might be able to take towards this goal.
You may find that once you’ve read them you don’t actually need as much help as you thought and you can manage to have a shower and get on your way – great, well done!
You may find that you can only do a couple of these little steps, or maybe only one for now, and that’s ok too – you’ve still made some progress, however small! Wait for a bit, relax and regroup. Try to get a bit further a bit later if you can. Or accept that you’ve made a start but you might not manage to have a shower today. You still made some progress and on days like this – take that win!
And it might be that none of these help you today, in which case, I’m so sorry that you are having such a horrible day. I want to reassure you that I have been just as incapable at times. I know it’s horrendous. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But as I write this I am thinking of you, with deep empathy in my heart for you and the pain you are feeling right now. I hope you can feel even a tiny bit of that care as you read this. Please come back and try again tomorrow x
If you need urgent help, please use one of these links to get some support:
Samaritans if you are in the UK, or
International Mental Health Charities if you are elsewhere.
Moving towards having a shower
- try splashing some cold water on your face
- try brushing your teeth
- try washing your face
- try getting your towel and toiletries (shower gel and shampoo) ready
- try getting the clothes you’d like to put on afterwards ready
- try washing your face, underarms and genital area with soapy water (a flannel or sponge can be useful for this) over the sink instead of a full shower
- try washing your hair over the sink / side of the bath and skipping the full body shower
- try showering without washing your hair
- try deciding to have a cuppa / do other things for a while first – you may start to feel more like you’d like to get clean later on
Those are my ideas for now. Feel free to try one or more and let me know how it goes / whether it helped / what else I should add to this list in the comments.
It’s also really important to remember that it’s absolutely ok if you stop before you’ve got as far as an actual shower. You’re not on this page because one suggestion will make things magically better, and that’s not my experience either. Do what you can. Take your time. Give yourself that time. And remember, it’s ok to accept that it might be too much for you today – in which case, take care, and please come back and try again tomorrow x